So this topic struck me today while I was talking to my colleague this morning. We were talking about how people are and what are their focus at certain age and I thought it would be a great topic to share. 

Well many of us, probably in our 20s and 30s are hustling and finding our own ways to get through our mid-life crisis and it is mostly a personal experience as everyone has their own journey. Despite that, we may find some things in common at a point of life and of course, from experiences there will always be lessons. Most of the time, this would be some time too late in life, when it may be too late to make mends. 

So, if you ever read this while you are young and have a long road ahead, perhaps this will be a useful message to help you get through life. 

Here's a few lessons that people learn too late life; 

1. Not everyone is a friend

This may be a bitter pill to swallow, but it is true. Sometimes or maybe most of the time, people can be selfish and have their own interest in mind, that they do not care who gets thrown under the bus in the process. This can be friends, colleagues, strangers, girlfriend/boyfriend and even family at extreme cases. Provided the opportunity, they will do you wrong. Being selfish is not the same as self prioritisation, but not caring if others got hurt in the process of you achieving what you want. A simple example would be dating your friend's ex. I am sure most of us would have came across this scenario at a point of life and I am one to personally experience this. The feeling of disappointment and betrayal was horrendous. So my personal advice is to choose your friends wisely, otherwise just be cautious. In spite of that, I am not saying that there are no one out there good enough to be a friend with good intentions. I know that there are and I have a handful of them which I adore. True friends are the ones that would never intentionally hurt you. They will always look out for you even if you are across the world and they will be strearn with you if you are headed in the wrong direction. So if you ever find a friend that makes you feel that way, make sure to let them know that they are appreciated. 

2. Success is not measured through richness

3. Start today

"I'll just start tomorrow." I know we all have said this at least once in our life. Procrastination is the road to self sabotage. Putting things off may seem like the best thing to do when you don't want to deal with it, but this is not a healthy method. Whatever you decide to do in this moment will determine what you turn out to be. Or in other words, your past actions has made you into the person you are today. You are leading your life and decisions that you make today might impact how you turn out later on in life. If you plan to be successful in whichever field, I suggest that you start somewhere today, rather than putting it off for another day. Start small, maybe a plan would help. Then progressively take actions that would eventually bring you closer to your goal. Today is the right time to start! Strive for what you are passionate about.

4. Be sincere

At the end of this life, no one is going to give you an award for the millions of dollar that you have but cannot spend since you're dead. People remember how to treated them and how genuine you were with them. Help others whenever you can, this can be on an scale but just be genuine and don't expect anything in return is the key. Besides, I know how easy it is to be negative and not see goodness in people. But take a leap and see the positive traits in every situation. This will change your life for the better. Even if others don't see it, it is fine because all that matters in the sense of peacefulness that you will feel when you genuine do these things. 

5. Think before you talk

It is easy to say things without thinking, and in this opinionated world, everyone feels like they are entitled to say something, doesn't matter if it makes sense or not. What we don't realise is how it impacts so many things. An example would be a rumour. Guess imagine if someone decides to spread a horrible rumour about you and how it would impact you, your job, your family, your lifestyle, etc. Yes it is just a rumour but this may push people to make drastic decision, especially if the rumour affects their status in this society. Your tongue is sharper than a knife so be careful with the word you decide to say. Not everything is meant to be joked about it. Process what you want to say and verify sources before you decide to share. 

So lately I had several encounters with people where the conversation was about something that I found sensitive. You must be wondering what could be the topic about? 

Well, it was about religious practices. 

For one, I believe that everyone should be given the opportunity to explore and find out the right religion that one wants to practice, whichever that resonates best with you. 

Perhaps being in Asia, this topic might be a little bit more sensitive as everyone thinks that their religion is the best and you shouldn't even have a conversation with others about it. 

Personally, I think everyone should be able to practice whatever religion they want. It shouldn't be a question at all, especially when the main aim of all religions is to make you a better person that you were yesterday. Or if existing religions are a little extreme and you prefer to be a unicorn, go for it! That's your call.

As parents, I do believe that you are responsible for guiding your children to be aware of the religion that you practice as a family. Not only that, teach your children why you practice things a certain why. And if you have no idea why there are certain practices dones, take some time finding out. I mean a blind cannot lead another blind and hope that things would be magically understood. Besides that, somewhere in the process, your children will mix with others with different religion and learn somewhat about other religions. They might be curious of why are there different religions and why different people have different practices. That is also your responsibility as a parent to advise them about other religions, even if you might not know much about it. There is definitely nothing wrong with knowing the basics of other religions, just to know and teach your children. Ignorance will be help educate the future generation. 

Once these children become adults, it is not your call anymore. Yes, you raised the child, but based on your direction and teaching, they must have been able to navigate through all of life's decisions. So take the opportunity to believe that you have taught them well enough and let them decide what they want. 

If you did not attempt to educate yourself to guide them in the right direction when they were children, it is your fault. But it still does not give you the right to control their decision after that point. Just because you did not question the beliefs and practices when you were young, that does not mean that kids in this generation won't question you. And when they question you, don't get offended because something right about your teaching has prompted them to think differently. Without proper guidance from parents, many children end up not understanding the importance of religions and tradition, and over time they don't practice it either, because they don't understand why they are even doing it in the first place. 

Yes, I understand the certain people do not think about this especially when it comes to raising kids, but it is a necessity. Educate yourself first. Always know why you do certain things. It is not mindful to do things because someone told you that you just should. We are so evolved and have all the access to find out more about everything, if only we wanted to. 

So challenge yourself by questioning why you practice something? It might be as simple as it gives you hope and peace. And this reasoning is enough. Also, never ever question others about their beliefs and religious practices in a rude way. Just like your religion is great, so is theirs. 

Most of us think that giving ourselves basic attention like having timely meals and getting sufficient sleep is considered self care, but no it is not. Self care is beyond that. It is simple things you do that brings a positive change to your life, especially during stressful times.